with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
