I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
