I wanna bring you to show and tell
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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