I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
