I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
