Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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