Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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