"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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