He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
