I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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