need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
