they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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