I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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