she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
