At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
