I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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