so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
