Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
