how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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