real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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