Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's shark week go big or go home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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