On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
