ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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