CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
