Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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