Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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