help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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