Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
