So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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