My ATM looks so different sober.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
