Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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