You're so nebulous sometimes
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
