I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
