He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
