HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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