I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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