Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
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