Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
