so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
