Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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