I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
