if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
