i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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