i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
