did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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