i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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