The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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