porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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