Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
