it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
