bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
