Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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